so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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