Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
