if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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