So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
