I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
