Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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