My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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