We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize