brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
