he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
