I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
