sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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