I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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