Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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