Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
