i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
