I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
be right there i have to get my cape
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize