well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
