wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize