i think my mom watched the whole time
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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