My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize