I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
