What a fucking waste of an outfit
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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