I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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