i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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