Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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