Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
