she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
