Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
