he wants to bone in the snuggie
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
