Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
