are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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