When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
