she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize