Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
