i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
