Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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