This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
