Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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