I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You can't just leave with hair like that
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
