i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
