If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
