I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
