I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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