Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize