You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
