You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
