She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
