Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
