You can't special order awesome
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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