Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
