thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
