everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
