Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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