yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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