i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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