Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
