do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
