The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The adults are the big ones right?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
