I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
