I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she looked like the before picture.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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