one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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