Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
