apparently the secret to your success is patron
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
