You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize