I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
