I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
