I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
