The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Barsexuality is the new black.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
