so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize