why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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