i think i have two assholes
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So. Much. Porn.
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