Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
