90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Semen is not good for contacts.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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