gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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